Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Writer's Block: Defining moment
Is there a particular moment or event in your life that you reflect on most? Why was it so important, and how did it shape you?

Can I only choose one? I am rather introspective by nature.

If I had to choose only one I suppose it would have to be...

My whole life I was a confirmed bachelor, suited to a life of solitude and quite happy to face the prospect of the passing years with my own company. So committed was I to this life it permeated every fiber of my being. I wasn't just a bachelor but I was the essence of bachelorhood. I dated just enough to be sure of this commitment and my dating life wasn’t selfish by any means. I sought to learn about who I was with and how the relationship (short though they always were) affected all parties. So when I say I was to be a bachelor it wasn’t out of any sense of distaste for romance, or a misunderstanding of what togetherness implied but rather it was a well thought out choice, one that came to define my life. Then I met someone and that definition became obsolete. I married that someone and now am on the verge of fatherhood and I couldn’t be happier. So why do I chose this moment to reflect upon? It is a curious thing but it isn’t the moment so much as what that moment made me to realize. Self defining ideas are all well and good but the real definition of a man is not what he thinks himself to be but what he does and how he reacts to what the universe does to him. I tried to define the whole of my life looking forward. I know now this is folly. I will define my life again, but this time I think I have it figured out. The who of me that will be defined comes only at the end when I might look back and regard my whole life from start to finish? And while I won’t define myself today I will work on crafting the thing that will be defined tomorrow. What I learned and what I continue to learn looking back and reflecting on the moment when I realized what I was wasn’t what I could be is simple. The book of life is the story of our whole life. The start of which is filled in by other hands and the ending is uncertain but the meat of that story is for us to write. Perhaps that is the point where we are truly connected to God, when we pick up the pen and begin to write in that great book.



Log in